Crying

There are two things you can do with emotions - bottle them up until they explode (usually at someone who has nothing to do with it) or let them out.  I used to keep all my emotions to myself.  It was safe.  No one could hurt me because I denied any feelings to myself let alone to anyone else.

In the past year that has changed.  I now find I let my emotions out through crying - probably far too often.  Anything and everything can make me cry if I become overwhelmed with whichever emotion.  Yesterday I cried.  I cried because I was so happy and feeling so lucky in Chris' arms.  I cried because I can scarcely believe how lucky I feel to have found someone who I don't get bored of, who doesn't get bored of me, who I love, who loves me, who I understand and who understands me.  We don't have to talk to share our thoughts, so we talk about whatever comes into our minds (we talk about our thoughts and feelings as well, just in case one of us gets it wrong one day).

It's hard for me to admit that I cry after years of stoic silence.  But I believe it's a start towards me learning how I truly feel about things.  It is a healthier approach to my emotions, though perhaps not the healthiest one.  I am still learning and I know I'll get there one day.  I'll have a healthy way of dealing with everything, one that works for me.  Everyone is different so we can't expect us all to react in the same way.  I'm still learning my way.