I'm not sure what to write about today. I'm annoyed with myself for pushing myself yesterday but after 2 weeks stuck in my house I needed to get out and see other people. So in one way I'm glad I left the house, but I'm disappointed that the film wasn't worth the pain it caused. Going to the cinema was difficult as it was just so loud and hurt my eyes from the brightness of the screen against the darkness of the room - some films are worth it, The Back-Up plan wasn't.
So now I'm sitting on my bed trying to fight off boredom and ignore the intense pain in my legs. I want to take it slow, I don't have a choice. But I also want to do things - I want to go to scouts tonight. I haven't been since Febuary and I'm worried that I won't remember anyone or that they will have changed so much and I'll have missed out. I have explained M.E. to all the scouts before but I have been away for so long I'm now scared to go back. But I was hoping to go tonight and face my fears. The fact that I'm so exhausted and in so much pain just means I'll have to put it off for yet another week - at this rate, it'll be September before I go again, and I really don't want that.
That's all I have to say today - I know it is me moaning about something I have inflicted on myself but it still feels so unfair - if I didn't have M.E. I wouldn't have battered an eyelid at what I did yesterday. Yet it is too late to regret it now. Life goes on and something good will happen soon (though what could be better than finding Chris I don't know but it still feels like the universe owes me a break)
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Hope you feel better soon, sis. I'm sure once you get back into scouts it will be fine. I find if I've been away from something for a while I always feel a little nervous about going back and getting used to the routine again
ReplyDeleteI hope you find the energy to get back to Scouts soon. I'm sure all your friends there miss you and would welcome you back.
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Thanks for your comments - and the those books look amazing, I will definitely be considering them for a way of showing my photos in the future x
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