I have not wanted to write in either blog for the past few days. I still don't particularly want to yet I am still drawn to letting something out through my words. The reason for this reluctance is simply that I am not feeling happy or motivated or in a place to enjoy life. M.E. is slowly dragging me down and I feel like I am drowning in feelings of self-pity and self-loathing which are becoming increasingly hard to fight. It is not just my life which is getting me down but also my writing. Or else my life is pulling down my feelings about writing with it. I feel as if there is no point to it or to anything right now. No one will want to read the drab I'm coming out with right now on the very few days I manage to write anything at all.
So I haven't blogged. I don't like pulling other people down with me. It's bad enough that I'm pulling myself down and I can see the effects around me and can't stop myself. I don't want to depress you but equally I feel that I owe you the truth and the knowledge that I haven't curled up in a ball and died, no matter how much I wish I could sometimes. (Just to be clear - I am not suicidal even though I'm aware I sound it).
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*Hugs* Hope you feel better soon, hun. I'm sure when your motivation to write will return when you have a little more energy. Thinking of you xxxx
ReplyDeleteI hope you feel better soon! Don't apologize for writing honestly. You are going through a difficult time, and it's good to acknowledge and share those feelings. Everyone goes through hard times, and your writing may be helping someone who is going through something difficult, too.
ReplyDeleteThanks guys, I really appreciate the support you always seem to have for me. It's hard for me to write this way as I don't want to sound like I'm whining but I hadn't considered that it may help someone - so thank you Ashley for pointing that out. The thought alone makes it easier to write about difficulties in life.
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